I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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