I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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