you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
