ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
