jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
