Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
