So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
