I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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