There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
