3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
