You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
