Say something about gay babies.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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