Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
