Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
