You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
