Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
