I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
