Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
