I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
