you would pick up someone in the library
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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