You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
