yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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