Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
