we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Be still, my beating vagina.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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