Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
