U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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