Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
