I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
