Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize