marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
