I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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