are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm eating all of the evidence.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
