we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
