I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
