We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
