toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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