Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
