How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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