Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
