it's not cheating when I paid for it
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
