This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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