One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
