Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
