I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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