Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
