PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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