I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
