Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
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