There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
