How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
