Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
