How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
