Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
This is the high leading the old right now
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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