Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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