I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
