hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
