I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
