If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize