Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
