ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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