eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
