Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He? As in you personified your dick?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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