Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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