I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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