How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
FUCK WHALES
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