yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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