Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
