"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
