NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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